My 2nd Lucid Dream - What I've learned, How to do it, and What it means....

It was almost one year ago that I had my first lucid dream. Thankfully, I blogged about it, so I have a preserved record of what happened and when. I can cross check my memory and have the truth.

It turns out, my memory of the event is exactly as I wrote. I have not embellished or changed details in my mind. Perhaps because it was such a striking and unusual experience - or because only a year as passed. I was so afraid to go to sleep after that experience. The unknowns. The possibilities. The spirit world.  All of it made the idea so terrifying. But then nothing happened. I dreamed like normal and never went lucid again.

Until the other night when I had my second lucid experience. It was very similar but very different. Having just checked the date of my first lucid dream, I'm starting to wonder about both happening mid-late October and hope it's not annual event. After my second lucid dream, I am no longer afraid and I would like to continue.

Here are the details:

I went to bed between 10-11pm and fell asleep quickly. Around 2:20 my husband went to bed and engaged me in conversation. I hate when he does this. He gives no thought to my need for sleep. He talks to me about things that get me riled and awake. We have a lively conversation until around 3:30am. I realize I am not going to get back to sleep after this. I am fully awake. I start thinking about emails I need to send and around 4am decide to just get up and write them. But then I realize it might buzz their phones and wake other people up at such a horrific hour. So I lay there for a bit and decide to see if I could lucid dream again.
These events - getting woken into full awareness and going to be productive are similar to the first experience. I am doing nothing else, so I think "what the hay." I lie there and attempt to meditate. I always say "attempt" because I am so very distractable that I have never successfully meditated. I hear my husband snoring and get mad.

He rolls over and I can focus a bit. I start seeing images as my body relaxes. Not the fast moving ones, but random images, some bright with tunnels and doors but I can't get them to stay in focus. Eventually I am out.

The dream begins with me walking barefoot, carrying my shoes and trying to put them into my neighbor's house. I look at my shoes and realize this is so stupid. Why would I be putting my shoes in someone else's house so I turn around and start walking home. I hear my husband calling my name. I am surprised he is here. We meet at the cherry tree in our front yard and I realize it is bent over to the ground. He had hung a baseball mitt in the tree and it bent the tree over. I am mad. But I am also in shock that the tree is bent in a "bendy" way. Smooth and stretched like taffy. That just doesn't make sense but I am so concerned about saving the tree that I ignore it.

We work to lift the tree up and it snaps in half. Dead. I'm not happy. Then I realize there are apples growing on the top of the tree. How are apples growing on my cherry tree. This should have snapped me into reality, but instead I decide I have to try to graft it and replicate it instead. Such a rare cherry/apple tree. They are not even in the same class of plant, so this is unheard of. I must graft as many of the limbs as possible to save this rare tree.

While I am trying to figure out what to do, I notice a very tall (infinitely tall) tree has grown in its place. I try to figure out how it got there and what species it could be. I decide it must be a poplar for growing so columnar and so quick.

At this point my subconscious must be getting irritated with me. I am really so dumb sometimes. Every time I have went lucid, I was given multiple inconsistencies to snap me into awareness and it seems to take me so long to figure it out.

So my dream brings in my mom. She starts saying things that really bother me. She's being a jerk. I listen to her for awhile and then she comes into my house and continues with the drama. That's when I stop and think "why is my mom at my house? She has never been to my house (read: she ran away 11 years ago and we have basically been estranged every since.)

Oh my gosh - this isn't real. At that moment, every cell in my body vibrates. It buzzes - very strongly - almost kind of painfully - like it burns. I purposely throw my body through the floor and the lucid dream begins.

Initially I must be flying, though I am not doing anything to make movement. I am high in the sky, moving quickly toward a tropical location. I see aztec type temples and get excited. I think I am going to learn something about that ancient civilization and I'm really liking it. So the dream drops me into the water. I am cold and wet.

Annoyed but not scared, I just lay back - knowing that the dream will just move me along to the next scene.  This is a sharp departure from my regular experiences. If I were in water - in dreams or real life - I would be afraid of drowning, especially ocean water with currents. But I am not worried, I just float along until I see a large object in the sky.

It's spaceship like - but I know it is not a spaceship. It is a command center, a warehouse/distribution kind of thing, and drones are leaving it in all directions. They are delivering things. Everything is white and silver and these are not drones that look like helicopters - they look more like pods - like the shell body of a jet ski but of course white/silver. I try hard to read the name on the pods. It's a company/brand name. I do successfully read it but I forgot the name after I wake up. It is not a company/brand I am currently familiar with.

The dream brings me along past an open mall type place and I see people sitting on stools eating something they bought from a type of cafe. I don't see their food.

I am brought into an office where two women are working. They talk to me about nonsense things.

I should mention that I am not walking or flying. I am maybe hovering but I am moved by something else. Almost as if I am grabbed by my back and taken places, but without any sensation of being held onto.

I want to leave the women because they are not very interesting to me and as I start to leave one of them stops me and pulls off my hair. My real hair is underneath and looks like my normal hair. I guess I was wearing a wig. She gives me a cat to put on my head. An actual cat, no longer alive. It zips open underneath and is worn as a hat. Weird.

I look up and see the drone structure but realize it's connected with a larger system that moves people. And then everything goes black.

I sit up in bed. "I guess that's it this time," I think. I look over at my husband's clock and can not see the time. This is normal, as I sometimes can't see the clock over his body. I got up and looked at the time on the alarm keypad. It was all jumbled. "Just great", I thought. This keypad had always functioned well but it was not jumbled like the keypad we have downstairs.

I went down and make breakfast for my children. Then I packed their lunches. Then my alarm went off and I woke up. Tricky, tricky. I had just been dreaming. Somehow, I had lost the ability to be aware during my dreams. Maybe my mind was bored of the cat hats and weird people. Maybe I have a limit to the amount of lucidity I can experience.

Either way, I was quite annoyed when I made my way downstairs to once again make breakfast and lunches. I was quite pleased to see the keypad in working order. Home ownership is one big repair after another and I was not interested in fixing anything else.

But I was not in awe after this lucid dream. I did not wake up wide eyed and gasping for air. I think maybe since the dream didn't begin with fear and did not include any fear, it helped. Maybe because I blacked out and ended with an irritating but normal dream it wasn't a shock to my body. I don't know. I just know that I want to do it again.

Here is the way I am choosing to view lucid dreaming:

Our mind and body are separate yet intertwined. Even scarier,  our brain is divided. Please take the time to look up the split brain experiments. Read about them and watch the videos of the experiments. The bottom line - you are not what you think you are!

My interpretation of the split brain is that we are divided into two beings - body and spirit: subconscious and conscious. Rubbish, you say? Let me give you a few examples. Beyond the basics of breathing, heart beat, sweating, digestion etc, your body controls a lot without your input.

When I was in college, I walked along the river to get to work one morning. I heard someone behind me and was negotiating with myself about whether I should speed up, turn around, or flat out run. Too late. While I was thinking about it, the man grabbed me from behind and covered my mouth. My body was not thinking about all the garbage that was running through my brain. It screamed the loudest, most blood curdling scream I have ever heard. It was not from ME. I did not do it. I have tried to repeat it, but can't. My body protected itself!

My body also drives itself. It also does all the walking. I never think about lifting each foot or bending my knees. While I drive I am busy thinking about what I'm going to say to my husband when I get home, what I need to pick up at the store and various other nonsense. My body drives and eventually I notice that we have arrived. Sometimes I pay attention while driving, but mostly if my eyes can see the road, my body will do the right thing. Scary, huh? Maybe you are just thinking I need to have my license revoked. These are just a few of the instances. If I am mad or stressed out or overly thinking about something, my body does it's own thing - sometimes with disastrous results. My body will fight back without thinking it through and will say hurtful things to people. Let's switch the term "my body" to my "subconscious." Scientists have found that our subconscious is programmed from 0-6 years old. These are survival patterns learned from our parents, caregivers, and anyone we interacted with during that pivotal time.

If my parents lashed out in anger, my subconscious (aka my body) will do the same when I am not consciously choosing to act with tact/patience/thought.  The subconscious and conscious are both part of ME. But who I really am is the conscious part. It should stress you out to realize we do much more subconsciously than consciously. We are so lost in worry and random thought that we are not often living our own lives. This is sad. It's time to be aware and to choose more of our actions in life. Knowing that our subconscious is often running the show, we know that it is responsible for a lot that happens in our life. Why do we keep choosing the wrong type of guy to date? Why do we have a gut feeling about something? Why do the same patterns keep happening in families - addictions, abuse, affairs, and even personalities and career choices?

So in the split brain - are you the left brain or the right brain? Or neither and it is just a redundant system designed to make sure you can survive if damage were to occur? If one side is the subconscious and the other is holding your conscious, it leads to some very interesting ideas. Even still, we know your body can and will run without you.

And that's what it does at night. Your body needs to sleep. It is when all autophagic repair and healing occurs. It is when your hormones cycle to stay in time with your circadian rhythm and in tune with time itself. While your body sleeps, your mind may be active or not.

I believe your subconscious mind is responsible for dreaming. Your subconscious mind does not speak like your conscious mind and that may be why your dreams use metaphors, jump from place to place, or other oddities. Your subconscious creates an alternate reality from it's perspective. Kind of groovy.

So when I have a lucid dream, I am not looking for answers to the universe. Any answer found would most likely be my own body's view of the answers. May it know why we are here and what our ultimate purpose is? It's possible, but not likely. My body is just animated matter - with a very sophisticated software program. But it does hold clues to myself. Why do I self sabotage? Why do I cling to sadness? Why can't I feel or give love? What the hell is wrong with me? You know, that type of stuff.

So the drones I saw were probably my body's feeling about what the future will be like. Perhaps my body knew I wanted to see the aztec civilization and realized it knew nothing about it. It just wanted to lie on the beach and sip pina coladas, so it dumped me into the ocean.

My goal in future lucid dreams will be to meet my subconscious. Not in nonsense cat hat ladies, but with someone who can tell me what really happened when I was younger, why do I hold the opinions I have, and what can I do to convince this other side of me that it's okay to fail. It's okay to try. It's okay to love other people. What does the subconscious know that it thinks I should know? What secrets does it know?

Keep in mind, it might lie to me. It might tell me nonsense riddles. We may never find a productive solution. Hell, I can't even stay lucid long enough to maneuver how I want and ask the things I want to know. But I am willing to keep trying.

Wish me luck!

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Thank you for your comments! I appreciate all your tips, advice, and well wishes!


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