They were deeply worried about me. I was going to be alone all day long. I was going to be lonely. They decided that after they got on the bus, I would most likely go to my room and stare at the wall until they got home.
I smile at the thought. The truth is, I got busy as soon as they hopped on the bus. I did all my usual things, but without distractions or guilt.
I exercised for the first time in weeks. What??? It's something a non-mom couldn't understand, but I have a hard time exercising when my children are home. It's not because they bother me when I'm doing it (when they were babies and toddlers that was a different story.) It's because I feel guilty when I'm not with them or watching them or helping them or....you name it.
When they are gone, I have nobody else to worry about and I can just focus on what I need to do. I can think and run and clean and work or make money or whatever I need to do. Then when they get home, all "my stuff" is done and I can listen to their day, make dinner, help with homework, and spend time with them.
Today was a good day. Mostly because I exercised (read: a summer of non-exercise and kids fighting leads to a grumpy mom.) And also because I finally figured out that it was a good and even profitable thing for me to stay home while my kids are at school.
It also helps that we are swimming in tasty tomatoes and our garden is going out on a mostly positive note - even after the summer challenges. Fall is a great time to start wrapping up everything that happened and start planning (dreaming) for spring.
Maybe tomorrow I'll stare at the wall....