How do you decide when your family is complete?

Wednesday, October 26, 2011





Whenever someone has a new baby, I love to hold them and smell their skin. I love that new baby smell. And that's when the questions begin...

Doesn't this make you want another one? Umm...no! It seems to offend new moms when you start going on and on about how you NEVER want to have a baby again!

Probably not the best timing, and people take this issue very seriously. So how do you decide when your family is complete? This is such a personal decision and no two people come to the same conclusion.

For me, I was done after the first few weeks of my first pregnancy. The vomit, the achy bones, and all-out tiredness did me in. Then I went through an extremely long labor (including a 4 hour pushing period - actually, 3 hrs 47 minutes but I reserve the right to round up!) and decided I would NEVER be pregnant again.

4 Weeks after my son's birth, I start menstruating again. I bawled on the floor, rolling and convulsing. My husband thought I was just PMSing, but I was going nuts because I knew it meant I could get pregnant again.

In case you're wondering, the doctors told me that getting your period back so early means you have enough body fat to support nursing and a pregnancy. Bonus! Strike Three against more children. Yep, I was one of those that gained 60 pounds during pregnancy.

Fast forward 7 or 8 months and I finally felt like I had figured out the whole motherhood thing. I was happy with my one-child decision. People would always ask when we were planning to have another and my husband would answer "when they'll be 2 years apart" and I would pretend not to hear them and walk away.

Nobody wants to hear that you hated being pregnant, that raising babies while your husband travels 6 days a week is hard, and that you hate what babies do to your body. Not even me - and I was the one who was living that reality!

Then I got soft and thought, "wouldn't it be great to have another baby?" Ha! I'm joking! I got pregnant by accident. I became a statistic.

I cried. I vomited. I laid on the ground. My babies were set to be 17 months apart. This is not what I wanted! At all!!!


Imagine my excitement when the doctor called me to tell me that my baby most likely had downs syndrome. A few inconclusive tests later, I decided to let it go and hope for the best. She was fine.

In the delivery room, I begged the doctor to run through the specifics of a tubal ligation. It was after 2 am and she didn't have time to answer my questions. She was a jerk. So I didn't want her doing the surgery anyway.

You know the options, right? Or do you? There are so many new options now, and you should check into them.
In the end, my husband underwent a vasectomy - just a few short months after our second child was born. But that didn't end it for me.

Every year, I meet a couple that had a baby years after a "successful" vasectomy and I grab my chest in angst.  It seems to happen most often when their oldest kids are in high school. I'm not trying to freak you out - I'm just stating what I've seen.

I'm taking it as an omen, and I am still looking at surgical options for myself. I am THAT serious about not having another baby.

But even if you had 6 joyous pregnancies with glowing skin, boundless energy, simple deliveries, no stretch marks, and colic free nights; it has to end sometime. If you thought contraceptives, hormone pills  and scary injections were the only ways we have to control our families destiny, you'd be mistaken. Times have changed. Do some research and be ready when you talk to your doctor.

It's your choice and you get to decide what is right for you! And for the record - I hope you had or will have glowing rosebud pregnancies.

I'm curious to know: How and when do you decide your family is complete? Join the conversation and be entered to WIN the designer handbag of your choice (Up to a $500 value) from Essure!

This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Essure. The opinions and text are all mine. Official Contest Rules.