You can't swim? - Well then try the DEEP END....

Over the weekend, we had a pool party for my son and 6 of his friends. Make that 5 of his friends and a son of one of my friends. I knew she'd find out about the party and she'd be hurt if he wasn't invited. So, that's the back story. That - and the fact that this boy occasionally does destructive things on purpose.

All is going well and the boys are having a great time. My daughter is trying her best to keep herself busy. Eventually, she starts chumming around with one of the boys. You know which one. They eat together and play games near the water.

Eventually I see them standing near the deep end. Whatever. He tells her to get in the water and she says "No, I can't swim. So I can't go in the deep end." With that, he pushes her into the water.

I jump from my seat and start running toward the pool. I scream out her name and I hesitate. I try to decide if it's better for me to jump in and swim across or run around the side of the pool. In my 2 seconds of thought, I see her head come up and she swims to the side of the pool.

She climbs out, turns to find me, and starts wailing. We start walking toward each other and eventually meet. I hold on to her as she tells me how he pushed her in. I squat down so our faces are at the same height and I tell her, "I'm so proud of you. I saw you swim your way to the edge."

"But MOM, he pushed me in! He knew I couldn't swim and he pushed me in the DEEP END!" She's crying and yelling. "You knew exactly what to do. You are a very smart girl. I had no idea you were such a strong swimmer!" is what I said to her.

Then she reminded me again that she told him that she couldn't swim and he pushed her in so she would drown. "You're right. He shouldn't have done that. It was rude and he's a maniac. But you saved yourself. I didn't even have time to get in the water and you were already out!"

Then she smiled and realized how well she had done -after the complaining of course. She started telling everyone that "she swam in the deep end". She asked me if she could do it again. Then she jumped into the deep end for the first time in her life, turned around, and swam back to the edge.

She did this a couple times and felt so much better. But she'll never trust that boy again. And neither will I.

I was proud of her. I wasn't as proud of myself. I hate that I invite problems just because I don't want to hurt someone's feelings and I that I hesitated. Swimming is not my strength and I spent way too much time trying to decide how I'd handle the situation. I knew it would take me more time than a normal person to get across the pool and actually thought it might be faster to run around.

I was hoping my husband would have jumped in and rescued her right away. He's so good at rescuing. In Hawaii, he jumped over a hot tub with his body shaped like a dolphin and was in the water, across the length of the pool and rescuing our son before anyone else could even move.

A few weeks ago, we were floating down the lazy river when out of the blue - a whistle blew and he was off of his tube and under the water. The next thing you know he's pulling a lifeless baby from the water and handing it to the lifeguard who was seconds behind him. I was paralyzed.

Water drama is too much for me. I still have nightmares of pulling my sister from the water when she was only 18 months old. Just thinking about it makes me freeze.

That's why I am the absolute pool stalker. It's no fun, but I will be damned if someone drowns while I am at the pool. Even if I can't get to them first. I will see it and freak out. And I'll eventually get to them or get help. And I no longer trust anyone else when they say "I'll watch him." They won't and that's when problems happen. Now it's all me, all the time. It's just not worth the risk.

And about the other problem....I'm still trying to figure out how to have "mom friends" without my kids having to be friends with children they don't (or shouldn't) like. Being a mom is weird.

3 comments:

Working Mommy said...

I would have asked that little boy and his mother to leave...immediately. Do. Not. Pass. Go. That behavior is completely unacceptable!! Even if she did make it to the edge by herself, I really hope that mom yelled at her son or punished him in some way.

WM

new2bento said...

The first thing I teach my new swimmers is how to grab a breath and reach for the side. If they need a little push I help hold their head up with one or two fingers so that they know that they are doing the work. It is the most important lesson to teach in the pool. I also take them to the deep end swimming as soon as they know how to take breathes and stay up. Never be afraid of being over your head in the water. It sounds like you have done a great job with your daughter.
as for the other guy...he would have heard a mouth full directly from me and the pool would have been off limits for him ever in my home.

Mrsbear said...

That sounds terrifying. Your daughter did a wonderful job keeping her head, but that little demon needs someone to reign him in yeesh. I can relate with not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings though, I probably would've invited her too against my better judgment. I'm sure this is a game changer for any future invites.

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Thank you for your comments! I appreciate all your tips, advice, and well wishes!

Angela

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