Yoga & Rap - Even a Buddhist would be proud!

Becoming a mom really challenged my true identity. Since the time I knew I was pregnant, I did my best not to expose my children to anything toxic - chemicals, food, music, movies....

But somewhere along the way, I lost my real self. Because while I don't like toxic chemicals or junk food. I really, really like dance, techno, and rap music. I also like grown-up movies, comedy shows, active sports....

For years, I gave up everything. Musically, I listened to baby CD's and limited my "adult" music to contemporary Christian radio.
B-O-R-I-N-G!

I must admit, the Christian station kept me for a few solid years. I had to ditch the baby CD's after a year - for sanity!

But something changed the other day when I was doing some basic yoga. I decided to turn on the i-pod and listen to music while I posed. My kind of music.

Eminem and yoga? Sounds weird, but I was way more in tune with my "real" inner self then I had been in a long time. That's why I said "even a Buddhist would be proud." Even though I am so far from the ideal Buddhist (what with my aggressive nature, penchant for disobedience, and love of loud music - to name a few), I think they'd approve of my "oneness" with myself in that moment.

Since then, I've listened to the music I want more often. Especially when I fold laundry. What I crusty job. Really! It just goes so much better with good tunes. I used to use that time to talk on the phone (something I hate to do). Pairing two jobs I dislike wasn't really working out. It's so much easier to fold laundry for the umpteenth time while beat boxing and dancing across the room.

But what kind of crappy mom lets her kid's listen to music like that? A mom that's true to who she really is. So it's sometimes aggressive, lewd, or uses offensive language. Do you really think your kids will never hear any of those things? And do the negatives really outweigh the sweet beats?

For me the answer is yes, no, I don't know. Ideally, I'd bust it out on my own. But I'm not really ever "on my own," so should I just suck it up and have no fun forever? It's been 5+ years of musical death . I gave up a big part of who I really am, and I want it back.

I want to skate 10+ miles a day, I want to do aerobics 3 times a week, I want the ability to bike ride for hours and not worry about coming back, I want occasional quiet moments to myself, I want to use the bathroom without someone screaming for me, I want to try on clothes without kids squeezed in to the fitting room, I want to clean the kitchen once a day and have it stay that way, I want to be able to think again, and I want to dance to fun, loud music!

Maybe it's asking to much - but damn it, I'm taking back the music!

3 comments:

Cathy said...

OMG!!! I was just out shopping BY MYSELF and I love the 20 minute drive with no kids and MY music blaring. The kids came running out of the house and said they could hear me coming home:) 20 minutes of feeling 19 again is wonderful!
When kids are in the car I only listen to their Kids Bop CD. Ugh!

The NEW Mommiez Blend said...

Oh Angela! As soon as I saw the Yoga & Rap I knew it was you lol. I have music on almost the second I wake up until right before the hubby gets home. I pick up my little man (almost 2) and we dance to everything from Stevie Wonder and James Taylor to Steppenwolf and Lady GaGa. I heart music. My whole family is the same way. I have even learned to accept country. I download the occasional Carrie Underwood and such, but it's still a hard sell in my book. I always wondered if I'd be able to do yoga while listening to my mp3 player. I just might try it out. :)

-Chelle

Captain Coupon said...

Angela,
I think you just said what every mother feels after having children and loosing a part of 'oneness with oneself'. So much of our time & effort goes toward the angels that it's important to do something, even if it's just a little something that makes us content with our own person. I love that you're 'taking the music back', I too am a music lover, hip hop, country, and yes..even rap (who could resist that beat?)after years of listening to baby einsteins and barney, you've inspired me to take the music back also! Tomorrow, I'm listening to luda! HA!
Nedra
AKA Captain Coupon

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Thank you for your comments! I appreciate all your tips, advice, and well wishes!

Angela

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