Frog Sighting

In the summer, our yard is overloaded with little frogs. I mean overloaded! They are super cute and they grow to huge by the time summer is over. They get about the size of a man's fist.

Today we saw our first one. A special thanks to my son for being willing to hold him for this shot. I love them because they eat a lot of bugs. Plus they're cute. My husband isn't a fan because it's impossible to miss them with the lawnmower. This is sad...but true. There are so many that really you would think we had a plague.

But then something happens. The snakes come out. We find snakes all summer long too, and boy can they run!! Well...slither, but you get the idea. We haven't been able to catch one yet....for scientific purposes, of course. But last year, we saw one catch and eat a frog right in front of us. We had a playdate over at the time and all of the kids watched with their eyes wide and mouths open. I didn't know what to do. Do I save the frog? Or do I just let nature play out before our very eyes? We watched in awe. We've seen these very frogs, eat dragonflies in our yard. And we've seen the dragonflies eat gnats and mosquitoes right out of the air. It's such a dance, it's violent and amazing at the same time. Last year, we watched a wasp devour a caterpillar. I didn't even know they were carnivores.

I'm sure we'll have plenty of frogs again this year... and later in the summer I'll be able to catch a big one. They love to hang out on our rocks on summer evenings and sing. Such a beautful sight. And such a nice way for my kids to learn to be gentle and loving with animals. We can't have pets because of allergies, so forest creatures beware....you might get loved up a little.

Quote for the Day

Nature is a tonic for the soul

Henry David Thoreau

It certainly is for me. I feel so much calmer in the forest or in my garden. I laughed today because my husband made lunch and was calling for me to come in. I was in the forest and I didn't want to leave. How many times have I called for him when he was in the places that are special to him. I let him wait a few minutes....just like he does to me.

The Effect of Exercise on Kids

My children are present and often participate when I exercise. I often wonder what type of impact that will have on them. They are like sponges after all. The only adult t.v. show they've ever seen is The Biggest Loser. They'd watch it with me every week (because it comes on at 7....grrr). They have remembered so much from that show! When we are at parties, if they see someone drinking a soda, they will in no uncertain terms, tell that person that drinking soda will make them fat! They will tell you the same thing if they see you eating a donut or french fries. And on and on. People look at me like I must be a food nazi. And I am, but I try to stress moderation with them. We (or they) can eat butter and candy and cheese and anything they want, just not all the time.

For a long time, I didn't ask them to do any type of physical activity. They run around and play most of the day. We take long walks in the woods, and we're out gardening or playing quite a bit. But ever since I started exercising a lot, they've seen it A LOT.

I don't complain about exercising in front of them, but they know it's tough for me. They see me get hot and sweaty. They know that I can't talk when I'm running, but for some reason they still try to carry on conversations with me. They just know my responses are less than perfect. O..kay....I.....will.....g....et.....it.........when.........i....mm..........done.....o....kay? When my children do yoga with me, they look like old pros. Oh to be so flexible.... But....they put all the grunts in the right places. My daughter was showing my neighbor her downward dog pose the other day and she grunted and sighed through it all. And it was not tough for her...she just thinks the sound effects are part of the moves.

One thing I didn't expect, was that they would come to expect some fitness in their day-to-day activities. So...I added it. We usually do our reading lessons right after breakfast. Now, we do 5 push-ups and 5 roll-ups right before our lessons. I do correct form, but I let them work it out to the best of their ability. My son can actually do all 5 real pushups now. He gets a lot more practice though because whenever his mind wanders during his lesson, he gets to do a few more to "get the blood flowing back to his brain". Needless to say, he's improved in both areas.

But today, they shocked me. My son said, "hey mom, look what I can do". I turned around and saw him doing a handstand. A real handstand! Now I have to take a step back and let you know that my kids are scrawny...not very muscular, not very athletic...let's face it they have my lazy body type. But he was doing a real handstand! He then showed his dad. I asked my husband if he thought this was because his upper body strength had been improving from all the pushups. And he said probably.

Well....I've been doing a lot of pushups, so could I now do a handstand?? Keep in mind that I have never been able to a handstand in all of my life. But I never could do a pushup either. For the record, I did 4 pushups with my daughter on my back today...just to see if I could do it. Okay, back on track. Could I do a handstand? You bet I could. And I could do forward flips now too. I'm not sure what gymnasts call it but I'm calling it a forward flip. I was so excited!!

My son was thrilled at his new talent, and my daughter tried and tried to do one as well. I'm hoping that by being so involved in exercise that it will rub off on them and they'll have healthy lifestyles throughout their lives. But I guess we'll see. For now, I'm just excited about the handstands. Winter Olympics here I come!

Homemade Chicken Stock ~Using a Crockpot

Whenever I make a whole chicken, I save the bones and skin to make chicken stock (or broth...I think the two are basically the same). It's actually super simple and it's one of the best things I learned to do last year (after hula hooping, of course). It's so easy. This is what you do. Take all your bones, fat, skin, drippings, any meat pieces you didn't want to eat and throw them in the crock pot. At this point, you can also chop up a couple of carrots, 1-2 celery, and 1 onion and throw them in the crockpot. Don't get fancy with it because you are going to eventually throw them out. Or you can blend them up and have a thicker stock, but I like a clear looking chicken noodle soup and don't save the veggies. Okay, so with all the ingredients in the pot, I add one bay leaf, 3-4 peppercorns, 1 tbsp of lemon juice, and fill the pot with just enough water to cover it all.

Then you turn the crockpot on low and leave it for 10-12 hours. I almost always start the crockpot right after dinner and leave it until morning, and it always turns out great (except for the one time my old crockpot died in the middle of the night....but barring that, it works great).

It will simmer all the good, tasty flavors and minerals right out of the bones and skin (and veggies). I usually have plenty of veggies on hand and happily throw them in, but in this example I was out of veggies and just went with the carcass and skin. I add lemon juice to increase the extraction of collagen and calcium from the bones.

Once you turn off the crockpot, let it sit and cool while you gather your supplies. All you need next are a large bowl and a strainer. You can use a cool $20 strainer or you can go cheapo like me with a $1 screen from the dollar store. This has been, by far, my best dollar store purchase. So, strain out the chicken bones, skin, and veggies. Then throw them away. If you left any meat in there, it will have lost most of it's flavor to the stock. You can eat it if you want, or share it with your pet, but it really won't be the best.

The fat will immediately start floating to the top, and you can skim it off at this point or put the bowl in the refrigerator for an hour or so, and skim it once the fat has hardened. It's easier this way, and I'm sure you could find a way to occupy your time while you wait. A word of caution...when you make homemade chicken stock, it will be gelatinous when it gets cold, so be careful that you don't scoop out all the solid material in the bowl, just the top/creamy/whitish layer. It looks a little like chicken jello, and it sets like that because of all the healthy collagen in your stock. Most commercial stocks take it out...and sell it as gelatin, but you miss out on the healthy proteins and calcium from the collagen that way.


After you've skimmed the fat, feel free to use it in a soup recipe or package it up and freeze for later. I like to freeze it in 1 cup packets, so I can easily use it for rice recipes without measuring. If I'm saving it for soup, I freeze it in one big gallon bag.

You may have noticed that I didn't add any salt to my chicken stock. I actually like it without any salt, and I recommend that you don't add any until you taste it in your final recipe and decide how much you need at that time. If you add salt during the stock making, you run the risk of concentrating it as the water boils off and making your dishes too salty.

Free Easy Vegan Recipe Booklet

Check out this site for a free "Easy Vegan Recipes" Book. I'm always trying to find new, healthy recipes, so I signed up for it and can't wait to see what's inside.

For our deals, check out the "deals" category on the right hand side of this blog. I will occasionally post deals for free (or considerably cheap) things I would request myself. I'm not big into clutter or unhealthy items, so you won't find many of the things that might create excess (of all kinds) in your home.

Cute little berries!

We got 6 little strawberries today. They are so good and sweet. My kids love going out to the little patch and picking a couple at a time. I think it's good that we have such a small berry patch. It really makes the berries you get enjoyable. And you can look forward to more because you never get full. Today, I'm so much more grateful for the small garden we have.

And I'm so grateful that I'm home to enjoy these moments with my kids. I got to watch them eat the berries...and that's always my favorite part.

Spinach Lasagna

We used some of the spinach we froze here to make lasagna. I love to put spinach in lasagna. I chopped it up and made one layer of spinach.
I also added spinach to the sauce, so each layer contained extra spinach. :) Traditionally, lasagna has a lot of cheese, but since I try to limit our saturated fat, I used only 2 cups of 2% cheddar and mozzarella cheeses. I used 1/2 cup of 1% cottage cheese. It's a good, inexpensive alternative to ricotta.

Ran on a Saturday....

Just for the record...I ran today. Just 4.1 miles, but that makes 3 times this week. I'm almost back on schedule. I actually feel better too. It's become apparent to me that I'm going to need to stick around 4.1 for awhile. I might make it to 4.2 a couple of times, but it will be awhile before I bust out 4.5miles. Maybe by the time summer is over I'll be there.

Half the Sugar

We've made a lot of changes in our diet over the last year, but one of the most helpful has been limiting the amount of sweeteners we use. I checked out the book Little Sugar Addicts: End the Mood Swings, Meltdowns, Tantrums, and Low Self-Esteem in Your Child Today from the library and it opened my eyes to how much sugar we actually consume and how it effects our children. I can definitely see that my children are "sugar addicts" and I am too!

The book offered some great ideas, like pairing sugars with proteins, and it really encouraged me to read the labels for foods. Reading food labels has been shocking. I never knew we were eating so much high fructose corn syrup (HCFS) and sugar. Plus all the other chemicals.

We've made great strides in limiting the number of processed foods we buy, and have made changes in the ones we ultimately choose. For example, I only buy bread that does not contain HFCS and contains whole grains. I've also been more choosy about which breakfast cereals we bring home.

Another change was what I actually cook for our family. I love to bake and I started searching the web for ideas on how to limit the amount of sugar and saturated fat in the items I make. Here are my tips for amending almost any baking recipe to make it healthier.

#1 You can almost always cut the sugar in the recipe in half. Doing so will decrease your overall volume by some. If that is a problem, you can add some applesauce to make up the lost volume.

#2. Applesauce or pureed sweet potatoes are an okay substitute for about 1/2 the amount of oil in the recipe if you are making something that is "cakey" like muffins.

#3 Olive oil or vegetable oil is a good substitute for butter in most recipes except cookies.

#4 When you reduce sugar in a recipe, adding cinnamon often tricks your taste buds into thinking the food is sweeter than it actually is.

I use these tips all the time, sometimes you can't even taste the difference when you cut the amount of sugar. It's amazing! You save your body from the sugar roller-coaster and save calories. Sometimes, I substitute honey, maple syrup, or agave nectar for sugar (since they are less processed and contain vitamins and minerals). You can usually get buy with less when you use one of these as well because they tend to be much sweeter than white sugar.

**SECRET TIP** If you make chocolate chip cookies using the recipe on the back of the chips package, you can cut the amount of butter in half and you will not be able to tell the difference. We have been doing this since Alton (Good Eats) recommended it on one of his shows and I think they taste the same or better and I feel better knowing they only contain half the butter.

My sister's daycare ~ A nightmare story

Okay, so I'm going to tell you about my sister's daycare provider. First of all, she's not licensed and she watches my sister's 3 children, 3 or 4 of her own, and 3 or 4 other random children. She also has transient people coming and going throughout the day. My sister refers to it as "the zoo". Not a great place for kids. Yeah...my sister knows this, but feels trapped financially. It's easy to judge, but everyone has to make their own choices.

So one day my sister calls me and says she's worried about the zoo. Specifically, there are some mentally handicapped adults that hang out at the zoo and she's worried they might take her 2 year old daughter somewhere to be alone. You get the drift. Of course this freaks me out, and she's really worried. Well...as it happens she had reason to worry, but thankfully not for the reason she was concerned.

That morning her daughter had climbed a dresser and fallen off. Her arm was broken. Surely, she had to have cried. But the whole day passed and the daycare lady never noticed. When my sister picked her up she noticed that her daughter was pale and not well. She asked her what happened and the 2 year old just said "I fell off the dresser". She went right to the ER and had her arm set. Her arm and to be reset multiple times, pins put in, pins taken out, soft casts, and hard casts put on, and then she was okay. But how did the daycare provider not notice that something was wrong.

She stopped using the daycare for awhile but her other providers kept quitting. So she sent the kids back to the zoo. I searched for new daycares for her but all were out of her budget...all of them cost more than she was making per hour. So stay home, right? Easy to say...but when you are super far in debt and your husband isn't making enough money...I guess you do what you have to, right? I don't know...

Well, the other day she and her husband were at work. The children were at the zoo. Her husband went to the store to grab supplies for work and whom did he see? The daycare lady...sans children!! She had left them all in the care of a 10 year old she watches. Say what???!?!!

Whenever I tell people this story, they always say, that lady needs to lose her license. Well, she's not licensed. And I'm sure she doesn't report the income to the IRS either. I haven't even discussed the conditions at the zoo, but I'm sure you can pretty much guess.

So, my sister's work keeps cutting her hours. Maybe they'll eliminate her job. This causes a lot of stress for her, but seriously it might be for the best. When fate makes the decision for her, it will probably be better for all involved....

Click here for an update.

Weekly Savings June 21-27, 2009

This is the first week I've kept track of my weekly earnings (savings).

Here's what I saved.

$5 Amazon Gift Card from swagbucks
$73.63 in grocery savings (sale prices and coupons)
$1.20 coupon savings for Father's day gift
$3 Flatbread Pizza Rebate
$.02 Found one penny in the parking lot, one at the library
$7.50 Clearance shopping (75% off pants for daughter)
$10 Coupon savings at garden store (free compost and twine)

Total Savings $100.35

Weekly Spending June 21-27, 2009

This is my first week keeping track of my spending.

It breaks down like this.

$10 Movie playdate
$8.32 Father's day Gift
$61.73 Grocery Shopping
$6.50 Garage sale shopping (new ice skates, Easter dress and 2 pairs of jeans for daughter)
$5 American Cancer Society Race Donation
$2.48 Clearance shopping (2 pairs of pants for daughter)
$15 Copay for ultrasound
$4 Strawberry picking

Total Spending $114.03

So, what's up with the flax?

I eat a lot of ground flaxseed. Actually, I like to eat flaxseeds whole too, but they aren't absorbed well if they aren't ground. So what's the deal? Did I just wake up one morning and say, "hmmm...I bet flax would taste good on this?" Did I try a sample at the store and become hooked? Nope and Nope.

I eat flax because it's a great (non-meat) source of omega-3 fatty acids. I'm trying to lower my body's inflammatory response (working great on a systemic level...crp less than .01) so I have upped my consumption of fish and other omega-3 sources while decreasing the amount of most other meats. Why not just pop an omega-3 pill? Well...I have those and sometimes I take them if I haven't had much fish or flax lately, but I prefer to eat things to get nutrients rather than take pills if at all possible.

So flax is super high in omega-3s and it tastes...well, let's be honest, like nothing. So it can be added to yogurt, oatmeal, baked goods, a lot of things without changing the taste.. Your kids won't even notice, or may ask for it. I prefer to grind my own with this coffee grinder I got free with swagbucks, but my neighbor gave me this giant container of ground flax for free and I'm not the kind of girl that turns down free flax. I'm more than half way done with this container though, so I'll be back to grinding my own flax again soon. In the meantime, I've been using my whole flaxseeds in bread recipes. Still not having a lot of luck in the bread department, but someday.....

Free School Year's Eve Party Kit

Check out this free party kit from Cookie Magazine. I'm not sure what's inside the kit, but it's to help you kick off the new school year with a School Year's Eve party. Sounds like a great idea. We have a son entering kindergarten this year and having a party to make it extra special sounds like fun! When you get to the website, scroll down to regist.er for the free party kit.

My Children's Garden

Our garden borders our neighbors yard and because I'm sure he will be using chemicals on his lawn at some point, we needed a buffer between his yard and our vegetables. So we dedicated the last few feet of the garden to flowers.

I let my children plant all kinds of random wildflower seeds. We were lucky to receive two free pansy plants, a free packet of wildflower seeds, and a free packet of sunflower seeds. My son planted the marigold at preschool and gave it to me as a Mother's day gift.

They were excited to have a place in the garden that is all their own. I'm happy to have a chemical buffer and I'm excited to see which flowers pop up.

Feeling Blessed

I've been trying to grow black raspberries near our forest edge, with no luck. I planted 3 Bristol raspberries last fall, and this spring, none of them had survived. I contacted the nursery and they graciously replaced them for a small handling fee. Sadly, only one has survived, and it's barely holding on. Are chipmunks to blame? Maybe, but either way I have been so sad about the berries not making it.

Well, today I was following my son on the new "trail" he made in the forest, when I spotted black raspberries. Not just the plant, but a plant with berries on it, and 2 new plants growing at it's crown. I almost cried. They were actually just off the trail where I wanted them. I felt so blessed. It was a major answer to prayer, even if I had never verbalized the request, my heart had been wanting black raspberries to grow there, and there they were, wild!

I have felt so blessed with our forest lately. I had been going back and forth with my husband about wanting to plant grapes, and I discovered them here. Just the other day, I expected just enough berries for each of my kids when a surprise 3rd berry was found. I just feel so good right now.

My son's clutter

Check out one of my son's clutters collections. He has a lot of these. All of my best attempts to lose them, vacuum them up, and hide them continue to fail. I think he'll be collecting for quite some time.

50 Free Disney Rewards Points

If you collect Disney Reward Points, use the code "GOOFY" to receive 50 free points for your account.

My Old Raspberry Patch

Sometimes I like to reminisce about my old raspberry patch.... It all started 7 years ago when my mom gave me 3 raspberry canes. I left them in my laundry room for days and forgot to plant them. My mom called to see if I had planted the berries, and so I finally went out and put them somewhere, a random spot in my yard with nothing growing on it. I'm happy to say that my gardening skills have improved some. I'm still lazy but I actually love it now.

My mom then came over to check if I had planted the berries and I told her they were in the back yard. She went to see for herself and came in to scold me about spacing. Well, I forgot about all about them after that, until the next summer when I saw my neighbor out watering them. She told me how much she loved raspberries and wanted to make sure they made it. So you mean you have to water plants??? Yep, I was lazy. I am so thankful to this neighbor because in truth she taught me pretty much everything I know about pruning, transplanting, fertilizing, and caring for all the plants in my current landscape.



Over the next 2 years, the plants blossomed into this. A full out patch. By this time, I had young kids and they loved to go out and pick berries. They could go outside and be lost in the patch. We had enough berries that they could go and pick as many as they wanted, and our neighbor could pick an occasional bowl for breakfast. It was a good thing. It was here that I realized how much I love to watch young children eat berries. The sheer joy in their eyes and the messiness of their hands and faces. It's magical.

Ever since we've moved, I've been a bit sad that I had to start over with my berries. It's been 2 years since we moved and I feel like we are so behind (berry-wise). Last year our newly planted raspberry patch was performing well. But then we decided to move it to the forest edge to make more room for our garden. And because I wanted the space to take my blueberries out of their containers. I was not born to be a container gardener. Our strawberries were plowed down by the deer and I wasn't sure if our raspberries would even make it. I was a wreck.

I kept thinking that my kids were growing up faster than my berry plants and they wouldn't get to eat endless berries while they were still young. I started thinking about how I would eventually need grandchildren to come eat the berries. Yep, I am that nuts.

Phew..I am happy to say that since moving, we may have lost a large raspberry plot, but we now have strawberries, blueberries, red raspberries, fall gold, purple royalty, black raspberries, and grapes. They may be off to slow starts, but eventually we should have berry-palooza over here! I just hope my babies still love going out and eating the berries when they are no longer babies. They won't have fat hands or cheeks anymore, but I hope it's just as joyful.

I went rollerblading!

Well, no more excuses. I'm going to use these legs while they still work! So I strapped on my roller blades for the first time in almost 6 years. Now, when I say I went roller blading, what I mean is I went super slow alongside my 3 year old on her bike (think "Driving Miss Daisy"), while my almost 5 year old raced off ahead of us. Not quite the voyage I had in mind, but as good as it's going to get for awhile. My daughter did run me down once, but I was able to catch her on the way down and neither of us were seriously hurt. I don't know that I really even moved my legs that much, but it's one step in the right direction to being an avid skater again. Maybe I'll even do the marathon again. It's on my bucket list...but this time I'll do it with the whole family.

Saving Money is Making Money

I often feel bad about not contributing financially to our family. I stay at home with our two young children and do not have an income-earning job or hobby (unless of course I make a few bucks from this blog).

I've come to realize that our biggest cost of raising our children as been the opportunity cost of my lost income. But my being home must have some financial benefit, right?

I've decided to start tracking my weekly spending and saving to see if my habits as a frugal mom are helping (or maybe hurting) our family's bottom line.

Saving money is making money, right? In most cases, I believe that it is. Buying something you don't need or will never use just because it's 90% off is not saving money. But buying gifts for family and friends at a sharp discount, or saving money on groceries is making money.

Keeping track of our spending is easy. Keeping track of savings isn't quite so straight forward. So, I will be keeping track of my grocery savings by comparing the price I pay at each visit to what the items are regularly priced at. Luckily, our grocery stores already do the math for me at the bottom of every receipt. Bonus!

I will also be counting the difference on clearance items I buy as gifts or things we normally use in our household as savings. I have a feeling the savings I get on a lot of my clothing will be a big contributor to my spending, but we'll see. I'll also be including any giftcards I win through swagbucks or mypoints and survey income as earnings.

Oatmeal Pecan Waffles

We love breakfast at our house. I could never imagine skipping or forgetting to eat breakfast. I've been experimenting with different flours and other add-ins when making all of our breakfast favorites.

This morning I made oatmeal pecan waffles. They were super tasty, but fell apart much easier than our usual whole wheat waffles. I ground old fashioned oatmeal to make oat flour, added a handful of chopped pecans, a little vanilla, and of course, ground flax.


I made a quick berry topping by heating strawberries, blueberries and cinnamon until they berries were crushed.


Then I put it all together with some fat-free whipped cream.



The kids and I loved these. I think our favorites are still the whole wheat and ground almond waffles, but I'll definitely make these again.

The Bucket List --- 5 Things Down

I keep a bucket list of things I want to do before I die. Within the last year I have crossed 5 things off that list (yay!):

Swim with Dolphins
Take a Cruise (even though I am afraid of water)
Learn to Hula Hoop (done and mastered, thank you)
Eat Sushi
Finalize my will (yes it's on the list because I care about what happens to my family when I'm gone)

I have 64 things left on the list...I may add or subtract (scuba diving!) a couple items as I revise my plans, but here are the 3 I'm actively working on accomplishing by the end of this year:

Stop swearing and yelling
Run a 5K
Learn to bake bread...that tastes good

Show us the Cow ~ Vote for Mark

Check out Chik-fil-A's new photo competition and vote for your favorite cow. Select "Vote" and search for Mark in Raleigh, NC. My sister spent a lot of time painting her 1 year old for this and he was a great sport.

So, please Vote for Mark!

I'm back!

It took everything in me to run today. We had an AM playdate (the perfect excuse to miss a workout), so I ran at lunch time. It was a big mental hurdle for me. I really didn't want to run, but I wanted to be able to make it, to pass the 4 mile mark again.

I was sweaty and so out of breath when I made it to 4.16 miles today! I worked the hardest I possibly could. My right leg was tingling and losing feeling throughout the whole run, but that's all the more reason to run, right? I'm still researching how to effect CNS inflammation, but until then I have to keep trying to lower my systemic inflammation and hope there is some crossover.

I am so excited to have made it again.

Parents Magazine ~ Free 2 year subscription

*Deal has expired*

Here's another great offer for free magazines. Click here for a 2 year subscription to Parents Magazine from Valuemags.

Thanks to Kimberly for alerting me to this deal.

Free $5 Amazon Gift Card

I just received another $5 gift card from Swagbucks. If you haven't signed up for Swagbucks, it's super easy. I like to search the web for all sorts of things, so it's nice to get "paid" for doing something I would normally be doing anyway.


You can click here to sign up. They usually give you at least 3 swagbucks just for signing up. I usually win at least once per day and have cashed in over $60 in gift cards. In my opinion, the amazon gift cards are the best deal in the swag store, but they also have music downloads, video games, and all sorts of prizes. Go check it out.



A quick tip...I wouldn't spend a lot of time chasing down swag codes. Swag codes are randomly sent out in the web and require hunting to find. That can be fun, but it's really not worth the time. Unless a code is sent to you directly through e-mail, it's usually expired or met it's limit by the time you find it. Definitely not a good use of time.

Free Subscription to O Magazine

*Deal has expired*
Get a Free 4 month subscription to O magazine (Oprah), here. I get at least 20 magazines in my mailbox each month and they are all free through deals like this one.

Success

Today, we won the battle against the chipmunk.
We placed rocks all around the strawberry netting to block any entrance to the berries. My children were such a great help in gathering and placing the rocks. I am just so happy that it worked.

And we got to eat our first berries (ever from our strawberries, last year the deer mowed them all down). When we left last night, there were 2 berries that were just about ready. But today when we went to pick them. Surprise! There were 3 ripe berries. That meant I actually got to have one of our berries.

Interestingly enough, my daughter ate hers first (the new rock/netting system made it slow work for me to get berries too) and then asked if I would split mine with her. Such is the life of a mom. The berries were sweet and tasty. And exactly what I needed after such a week of blah.

Swinging in the Jungle

Like Tarzan a monkey, I took a swing on a large grape vine in the forest today. My son asked me if we could swing on one of the vines, and like the good bad mom that I am, I said, "sure". So, I tested the vine to see if it could hold me, then I went for it. For about 3 seconds I was in monkey swinging bliss. Then I hit the tree (pictured next to the vine) with my left shoulder. Ouch. But I didn't cry. I just handed the vine off to my son and said, "your turn". He bravely swung out into the air and ended up hitting the tree as well. I really am a bad mom, but it was worth a try, right?

I've been on the lookout for grape vines ever since I saw one in our own backyard, and what I've found has been exciting. I've found hundreds of wild grape vines and hundreds of wild raspberries. I don't know why I've never noticed them before. I'm guessing that the animals get to all the fruit before I have had a chance to see them, but in any event I'm excited that they are there. I've found lots of hanging vines too. Do you think my kids would be up for another jungle swinging adventure? Probably not, or at least not until they are wild, crazy teenagers.

Free Bread Baking Recipe Book

I signed up to receive this free bread baking recipe book from Fleischmann's yeast. It came in the mail right away and it looks like it's still available here.

I was excited to make the no-knead multi grain recipe. Bread baking is a talent that I haven't yet mastered. And I've tried a bunch. I was a little worried about leaving it on the counter for 20 hours but in the end it was still edible. A word of caution, do not lift the plastic wrap to smell the bread. The alcohol smell burned my nostrils.

All in all the bread was good. I love the fact that it contained flax seeds, sesame seeds, oats, and brown rice. It's tough to find a good multi-grain bread recipe. I'll definitely try it again.

Nice herbs.....

My husband and I argued about what type of plants to put in our porch. I wanted to plant vegetables and herbs. He wanted flowers. So I suggested, just herbs. He said no. While he was away, my children and I went to buy flowers for our patio and planted them in small planters.

When he returned from work, he said, "I really like the herbs you planted in the porch". Grrrr.... They were flowers! Could I have really gotten away with planting herbs?? Note to self...next time just buy the plants I want.

Jon and Kate plus 8

I just watched the episode of Jon and Kate plus 8 where they confirmed that they are getting a divorce. What horrible news for that family. I was thinking/hoping that their affair rumors were created just to boost the shows ratings, but I guess I was wrong.

I did watch the show tonight for the first time in years, just because of the divorce rumor, but I really did like them in the beginning. I remember thinking they were a "real" couple just trying to make it and do the best for their children. Then Kate had a tummy-tuck. Then they kept ditching the kids with random people and taking off on vacations and spa days. That's when I stopped watching. It seems like forever ago.

And now, they just seem so different. It seems like the show is just about getting things for free and making money. I'm all about making money and getting things for free, but I'm not a fan of making it the main focus of your life. Hopefully they can get their lives straightened out and get back to some sort of normal, but I'm guessing that will all that money, it may never happen. So sad.

2 More Missing

Today we went out to check our strawberries and there were two more missing. I was so angry and broken up about it. In total, we've only lost maybe 25c in berries, but to me it was one last straw. One more thing that was out of my control.

I sat out in the sun and looked at the berries for awhile. When I told my husband, he suggested we get some traps and set them out to kill the chipmunks. I couldn't do that. I'm mad at the chipmunk, but I can't kill over a few (or even all) of our berries. I always tell our kids that the animals in the forest have a right to live there and that God provides for them. Alas, I need to practice what I preach.

But today I was endlessly unhappy. It just seemed like so many things were out of my hands. Then my husband told me that a neighbor was angry with me because I had been "shunning" her. In reality, I do need some space, and I probably didn't deal with the situation in the right way, but that was when I completely lost it. I just wanted to lay on the floor forever.

Lucky for me, karate started not long after and I had to get off the ground and get back to work. After karate, the kids and I went hunting for large stones to hold down the netting and keep the chipmunk out. I started to feel like I was doing something about it. As we were placing the stones, we had a visitor. The chipmunk!! There are 2 berries that are just about perfect and he was coming for them.

He wasn't afraid of us at all. But he was about to be. I chased him. Then he stopped like it was no big deal and I chased him some more. And I barked at him. Yes, barked! I chased him and chased him all through the forest until he finally went into one of his holes.

It felt good to yell at him. Then I finished laying out the rocks (I'll post a picture later and hopefully a picture of the first ripe strawberries that we get to eat). I felt like I finally had some control in my life and I felt better. Phew. I just hope and pray that tomorrow there will still be berries on our plants. Please, please, please, let there be berries. I just can't muster another let down right now.

Clutter

Over half of the cupboards and drawers in my house are empty. That surprises a lot of people, but I am really a minimalist at heart. I do not like clutter. It stresses me out.

We have a rule in our house that if something isn't being used, it gets donated or sold. I give away my children's clothes as soon as they outgrow them. I rotate their toys and when something isn't being played with anymore, I give it away. I give away my clothes as soon as they no longer fit or I tire of them.

Every few months I look through our drawers and closets to see if we have accumulated any excess things, and then....I give them away. It's so freeing and so nice to think that someone else might have a use for something that was just taking up space to me.

No Running...

I didn't end up running today. I was just too sad, but I did walk on the treadmill. I'm hoping my attitude will be better by Wednesday so I can run.

So sad....

I'm feeling exceptionally sad today. I think it has a lot to do with my lack of control over my own health. Or maybe it has to do with the nature of the disease itself. Depression is listed as one of the symptoms of MS. I suspect that's because of the helplessness of the disease. And the frustration with not being able to stop it.

I've been having so many more symptoms lately. My right leg has been numb all day and I've been having more and more issues at night. I feel so tired, and I am just so annoyed. And some of the worst symptoms are back. One of the worst is what happens when I step into a store. It's most pronounced at Target and Walgreens, maybe because of they lights they use or the coloring of their stores? I haven't figured it out.

When I walk into the store it's almost like I'm in a movie. I am no longer the center of what I'm seeing. People and objects move toward me in slow motion, but their associated sounds are at normal speed. It's scary when I see someone moving toward me at the wrong speed and then feel them brush past me immediately afterward. I try not to make eye contact with the cashiers because when they talk I have a hard time rationalizing the speed they are speaking when their mouths seem to move in slow motion. I often completely leave the conversation and it seems like I'm watching myself from behind. It's very scary and very unnerving. Two of my doctors are concerned that I may be having seizures, but of course have no explanation or ideas on how to prevent it.

It seems to be worse at Target and Walgreens, so I try not to shop there as often as I used to. This is hard for me because I love Target. When I enter other stores, I take a moment to relax and take a deep breath then I pray that I'll be able to make it through the store. I wondered if I was anxious about shopping? I wondered if I was overly stressed when my children are with me? So, I went shopping with no agenda and I went shopping alone. All the same things still happened.

I feel like I'm always in a haze. It's incredibly difficult for me to focus and remember. I'm tired and dizzy a lot. I wonder what other people must think of me. I look completely normal, healthy even, and yet I sometimes have difficult forming coherent sentences. I almost never remember events or details anymore. I must come across as a complete lunatic, but I'm not an unintelligent person. Or at least I wasn't. I graduated college at 20 years old with a bachelor is biochemistry, and a GPA of 3.86. I worked 4 concurrent jobs through college in order to graduate with very little debt. I excelled in the work world. I was fast, energetic and organized. And now I feel like a phantom.

And I feel so devastated because I thought all my efforts toward a healthy diet and exercising was helping. Recently, I've been reading a lot about MS and inflammation and I realized that even though I may have a lower systemic inflammation, my CNS (central nervous system--brain and spinal cord) can still be inflamed. So when I received my lab results with crp levels at almost zero, I thought I was doing great at lowering inflammation, thereby lowering my immune response and the damage of MS. It may not be the case. Is it because of the blood-brain barrier? Is there any way (aside from injecting myself) that I can do to lower the CNS inflammation? I just feel so frustrated.

I feel like I desperately need to exercise. I'm not sure if helps at all, but it's the only thing I feel like I can control. And I'm still clinging to the hope that it could lower the inflammation in my brain.

I am going to run first thing tomorrow morning and get back on track. There was no running this weekend because both of my children were sick. They are on the mend and I intend to get back on schedule before I end up getting sick. Such is the fate of a mom.

When you don't fence the garden

We have to fence our garden to keep out the deer and rabbits. It annoys me to have a fenced garden but whenever I get the urge to rip it all down, I remember what happened last year.

This is what happened to our pumpkins just days before they were ready to be harvested. Deer prints were everywhere. I am once again grateful for our fence. And so grateful that my husband was able to create a fence that goes up easily and comes down even easier. That way it's less of an eyesore for our neighbors.

A gift from my son

My son went outside to play for a few minutes (Yes--alone, I never thought I'd be okay with that) and when he came back in he had these for me.


It's nice to know he was thinking of me.

Homemade Aqua Globes

We went on vacation for 9 days. I was really worried about our newly planted flowers. How could they make it 9 days? My father generously volunteered to come water our garden and flowers once or twice.

I thought about buying aquaglobes but from the reviews I read, it seemed like they break easily and don't hold very much water. So, I decided to make something of my own.

I took empty wine bottles (these are from sparkling juice), filled them with water, and shoved them into the dirt. Then I waited to see what happened. The plants slowly drank the water over the next few days. Since I put the bottles deep into the dirt, the tops of the bottles became "plugged" with dirt. The dirt in the bottle acted as a wick, allowing the pot to take water from the bottle as needed, and without dumping out.

I found that I needed to put the bottle in a different place each time I filled to insure an adequate dirt plug in the bottle.

The verdict....our plants survived! In fact, I've kept the bottles in while we are home because I'm not the greatest at remembering to water. The wine bottles worked great and they were free! I'm happy with that. Click here to see more gardening tools and tricks.

No Running Today...

I thought for sure I'd make it three times this week. I was going to get on track, right? Well, I made it twice and was about to run today when....my daughter ended up with a 102 F fever. That's 102 after taking medicine. I know, I know! You are supposed to take their temp before giving medication. I'm a bad mom, what can I say?

So, I spent the day watching every princess movie we own and laying with her on the couch. Not exactly an active day.

I'm sure I'll have a million excuses by the time she goes to bed tonight, so I may try to run on Saturday (something I don't usually do because it annoys my husband). I really want to make it back on schedule.

Confession....

Sometimes I eat candy while I watch The Biggest Loser.

Speaking of The Biggest Loser....I miss that show. I don't watch t.v. very often. Actually, I only watch The Biggest Loser. I can't wait for next season.....

They are missing!

We've had 3 strawberries turn pink. We have went out to look for those same berries just days after they turned pink, only to find them missing. 100% gone. I think it may be the chipmunks from our forest. I've seen squirrels pick berries right off of our raspberry bushes. They have such cute little hands, but not when they are picking my berries.

This is our only evidence. These are chipmunk holes found nearby our berry patch. The berries are completely netted off, but a little chipmunk could certainly sneak in. It's frustrating to lose our whole patch to deer or rabbits, but it's equally annoying to lose it one berry at a time. I can only hope they stay out of the garden...that fence would be easily trespassed by squirrels and chipmunks.

My Sister's Garden

I'm jealous of my sister's garden. It's huge! And all of her plants seem to get so much bigger than mine. She is also very generous with her produce. Check out the spinach she sent home with me. We picked all of her plants about halfway.


Since I have some spinach in the fridge already, I decided to freeze this for lasagna. I quickly blanched the spinach in boiling water for 2 minutes, then put it right into an ice bath for 2 minutes, then strained out the water and put it in ziploc bags. This is how much it cooked down. I love the smell of cooked spinach. It was so hard to resist eating it all.

She told me she has 27 tomato plants. FYI--her family doesn't eat tomatoes. She planted them so she could share them. Gotta love it.

The best part...after my husband saw how much spinach I brought home he mentioned that we might be able to extend my garden another 4 feet next year. Wahoo!

Free Cereal? Yes Please

I posted here about buying things just because they are free. Most often, the items that are free are not good for you. But today, I was able to buy 6 boxes of Cheerios cereal for....FREE, actually I paid minus $1 for the cereal (they just took it off the rest of my bill) and the register gave me 2 coupons for a free gallon of milk. So 6 boxes of cereal and coupons for 2 FREE gallons of milk, at a cost of minus $1. That's the type of free I like to buy. Good for our budget and good for our family.

Go Chest Muscles!

I've definitely gotten stronger over the last few months. A year ago, I could not do a single push-up. Now I can do 3 sets of 10 reps. I know that's not a lot, but it's a huge improvement for me.

And just recently, I discovered that I can do 2 push ups with my daughter on my back. Only 2, but that's an added weight of 30 pounds. More than a quarter of my body weight. Go chest muscles!

Now if I could only get to the point where I could cheer Go Chest Fat! Without being pregnant or nursing, of course.

Confession

I eat random things from our forest. For most things, I'm fairly certain that they are safe. But not always. I ate a "wild strawberry" in my sister's forest and it turned out not to be a strawberry! I survived, but still.

I've eaten pine nuts out of pine cones and sampled numerous berries and "weeds" that I've seen on raw food websites. I was tempted to try one of these on the Half Moon Cay island....

They turned out to be yellow elderberries...totally safe but not at all ripe yet. Could it be pica..the odd desire to eat inedible things? I don't think so. I like to pretend I'm a survivor, trying to make it on my own in the wilderness. Or a lone survivor on a deserted island. Totally weird fantasies, but such is life.

Fighting Multiple Sclerosis...or whatever you call this

For almost a year, I have been dealing with on-again/off-again neurological symptoms that still have no definitive explanation. I've been to 6 doctors and each of them come to the same "maybe it's MS but I'm not sure" conclusion. They refer me to someone else and the cycle repeats.

In the meantime, I've had one of the most exhausting years of my life. I've been through some extremely tough things, but this has been so unrelenting. So personal, and so draining. It has forced me to think about myself more than I'd like to. I'm a mom and I have small children to take care of. My main focus should not be on myself.

The pain can be intense. So intense and so unending. I never understood why people used drugs or alcohol, but after months of dealing with non-stop pain, I finally got it. And it devastated me to feel that way. It's goes against my moral fiber to think that way. Yet I did.

I don't take medication often. I try to live "organically" if you will. But I took every over-the-counter pain medicine I could find. None of them helped. I took prednisone for awhile. I think it helped with some of the numbness and tingling, but it made it impossible for me to sleep. And that aggravated everything else. Between the lack of sleep and the pain, I had lost all patience for everything. It made taking care of my children almost impossible.

On the one hand, I feel blessed that this didn't happen when my children were babies or during some of the other times in my life when I had to be capable and aware. But at the same time, I am angry that it's happening right now. I'm angry that it's happening at all. My kids still need me. They are at a point now where they will remember things. Will they forget the 4+ years I spent loving them and caring for their every need and only remember my lack of patience, how I was too tired to do anything, how my body always hurt, and how my mind was always occupied with something else.

Half the time, I am just too dizzy or foggy to think. And the other half, I'm focused on how I'm going to fight this disease. I'm going to doctor's appointments, fighting with our insurance company, waiting for lab results, reading about treatment options, and trying things at home to improve my symptoms. And a lot of the time, I'm making a mental list of all the things I want to do now just in case my legs or arms stop functioning all together.

I worry about giving myself the injections to stop my immune system. I worry about those side effects. And I worry about the costs. Our insurance only pays a percentage of our medical bills and I know those medicines cost thousands of dollars a year. Imagine the stress of paying those bills, or a percentage of them. Increased stress is not good for MS, or any other condition.

I'm angry about my inability to function "normally". I'm angry about my constant focus on myself. It's hard not to think about it when you're body parts randomly lose all feeling. And this happens often.

I dug my rollerblades out the other day. I tried so hard to teach my children to rollerskate over the winter so we'd be ready this spring. I guess they are just too young. But can I really wait to start rollerblading again? It's something I used to love to do. It was exercise that never felt like work. When I was younger I used to have dreams nightmares that my legs suddenly stopped working. I had these dreams often and they freaked me out. It's my worst fear and now it looks so probable. So I want to run (even though I really hate it) while I still can. I want to rollerblade again. I want to ride bike and walk and all those normal things...always.

And there it is...the focus on myself again. When I add that in to the normal mommy-guilt and worries, it's just unbearable. I want to be functional. I want to be able to think and be present again someday. I want to be there for my children, physically and mentally as they grow up. So far, it's been harder than I could imagine.

But I'm fighting back. Well, sort of. I'm exercising and eating healthier than I ever have before. I am still deciding whether I go to the next neurology consult or not. I have a feeling the answer will be the same. I've already had every blood test, neurological test, MRI, ultrasound, x-ray, you name it. I don't want to take any of the medications for multiple sclerosis, and it scares me that someday I might have to.

I'm dropping things off of my to-do list that are not priorities and making time when I can forget everything else and just focus on my kids. I've started teaching them to read and have made more scheduled playtimes with them. I've said no to people that want to eat into my family time. I've been working hard to repriortize my life. I may not have the patience or focus I used to have and my mind is defintitely a lot more cloudy, but I can cut some things out and try to focus more on the things that matter. I'm trying not to let MS be the only thing I think about or the only thing I talk about.

Garden Update

This year we are growing a variety of plants in our garden. This is what's growing right now: beans, peas, tomatoes, zucchini, squash, spinach, strawberries, thyme, parsley, oregano, basil, chives, raspberries, and blueberries.

Here are some pictures of the growth so far. This is a picture of our spinach.


Here are some of our tomatoes. The first one is a beefmaster tomato. The second is a brandywine, heirloom tomato. Check out all the flowers on the brandywine! yay! The third is a cherry tomato. I have 6 tomatoes, the others are all beefmaster.



Here are some of our herbs. The first is chives, second is basil, third is thyme.












This is a picture of one of our squash plants