I'm destined to be a skeleton.....



I'm frustrated. I recently fell off the "healthy living wagon" and once again lost all feeling in my arms and toes (toes this time...really!)

I had been running three times a week, shredding three times a week, and eating a fairly clean flexitarian diet. I was doing well. I liked my lifestyle and most importantly, I had been feeling normal for almost 2 months! Wahoo!

And then....I started losing the few pairs of jeans that actually fit. Now, nothing was fitting again. And I realized, maybe I was getting a little extreme with how much I was exercising.

So I cut it down to just 3 shreddings a week (no running.) Level 3 is a great workout and it was only 20 minutes. I thought it would free up more family time and just make things easier. And things were great.

Then....we went to a funeral during the time I had scheduled to work out. So I skipped it. And didn't make it up. Then....one of my kids were sick, so I skipped again. And by this time I was just too wiped out to even think about working out. As of today, it has been 8 days since my last workout. *sighs*

But that wasn't all.... My husband recently complained mentioned to me that he was unhappy with my grocery shopping. He said "remember how you used to get so much food for practically nothing?"  Grrrr..... I was annoyed but took up his challenge and started restocking our pantry with tons of food, AND tons of JUNK!

I can resist most things, but not forever and not when they are in my own house. So I ate some yuckies. Then I was out with friends and I ate fried chicken. Fried chicken!!! The kind with skin and grease and crispiness! I haven't eaten anything fried in years! And last night I sneaked a fruit roll-up into my room and ate it in the dark. What kind of wacko does that? I was falling over the edge...

It wasn't long before I started to feel icky. I was tired and crabby. But I knew it was really bad when I went to Target the other day and my vision started to go. I was swirly and strobe-lighty. {I know those aren't real words, but it's the best way I can describe it.}

And yesterday, I lost feeling in both of my arms. For hours! Then the bottoms of my toes. I was pissed! At myself. I knew better. This has happened before. I was fighting this thing and I thought I was winning. But I got lazy.

And I was mad and feeling totally controlled. I hate the fact that I have to exercise. And I have to eat well. Surely, we all have to, but I mean I really have to!

If you've been following for awhile, you know that I'm underweight. Ever since this all started (over a year ago,) I have lost a substantial amount of weight and have been struggling to stay in the normal range.

I took a health test for our insurance company today and even they advised me to gain weight.

When the doctor found a lump in my breast a few months back, all I could think was..."I can't have cancer, my body has no weight to lose!" Thankfully it was the fact I have no breast fat, and not cancer, that was the cause of the lump. *groans*

Anyway, I'm getting back to my routine tomorrow, and I'm going to begin the "let's donate all this stuff discussion" with the hubs, and see if I can't get my life back on track.

That being said, it looks as though I'm destined to be a skeleton. I will be working out and eating well....forever.  No cheating or slacking allowed!

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

Seems like good motivation, huh? Sandy

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

Well, if that is the worst problem you have...lucky!!

HeartNiki said...

Hmmm...Interesting. I don't know anyone with that problem.

Scrapingirl said...

That is wild!! I have never heard of this. I hope you can get back to your normal soon. It's no fun having problems when you have little ones running around. You can't focus all your attention on yourself, it's gotta be rationed out. :)

Shelby said...

I hope someday the docs really do come up with a reason for all of this and a positive solution for you.

Janet said...

Thanks for stopping by our blog! You have a great one too. We'll be following.

amanda said...

Angela, that has to be tough to have such a strong reaction to a change in your eating/exercising routine!

It is a struggle to know the amount of food/savings you CAN get at the grocery store vs. spending a little more to get less, but BETTER foods. I struggle with that ALL the time! I sometimes wish I never did the 'coupon thing' so I wouldn't have anything to compare my shopping to!

Rita said...

I feel your pain! I have spinal arthritis and if I don't hit the pool every other day I can't move very well and the arthrits takes over. I actually enjoy swimming but the fact that I HAVE to every other day is really hard...I'd love to take a few days off but then I can't move/walk very well. It's frustrating!

Diane said...

First off...i love your blog...i read it daily :)

Second big hugs to you.. i hope a doctor can give you an answer and help you out.
I have been on and off the healthy wagon since may when i got married...its frustrating...i have gained some weight and my hands tingle like they did before...i have to be strict with my food and exercise to maintain any results. Its frustrating...good luck and hugs.

CityGirl GoneCountry said...

Thanks a bunch for stopping by my blog:) I know the feeling of fallin off the wagon...i have been trying to get myself motivated but just cant seem to do it fully! Thanks for sharing!!:)

joeypouch said...

I love your blog and i'm rooting for you! It won't let me follow you at the moment - so i'll just kep coming back. Keep writing as much as you are running xx

Anonymous said...

skelly, skelly, bo belly...

Jessica-MomForHim said...

I'm so sorry this has happened to you again. :-( Praying for you!

Disney said...

Oh wow. Is there anything more frustrating than diet/health?? I confess that I don't know much about MS, except that I've heard it's terrible.
It's so refreshing to hear about someone who's trying to GAIN weight though! I wish you the best, and I hope you beat the food monster (I hope I do too, haha!)

P.S. Thank you for stopping by my blog!

blueviolet said...

It really does make me mad that eating healthy costs far more than not eating healthy!

Good luck, Angela!

Coach Jenn said...

Hi Angela,

Thanks for commenting on my blog too. I'm sure everyone in the world tells you that they wish they had YOUR problem and could not gain weight, but I know your struggles are true and you are working hard to be as healthy as you can be.

I hope you are back on track with your workouts. Lifting heavier weights and making sure it eat lots of healthy fats and proteins should help put on a few pounds.

All the best in health and fitness.

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Thank you for your comments! I appreciate all your tips, advice, and well wishes!

Angela

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